You can know what to do and still not know why you're doing it. If you're chasing a goal and want to actually reach it, you need to understand what you're trying to achieve and the purpose behind it.
A student came to me recently and said, "Rich, I've hit a plateau. I know what I need to do. I just can't bring myself to do it." He was talking about fitness. He was making excuses to skip the gym, and when he did go, he cut his sets short and left weight off the bar. He knew he could do more. He just wasn't motivated.
A lot of us end up in that same spot. We know what we should do, and we still don't do it.
You've seen it every year. Everyone joins the gym in January. By February or March, attendance is back to normal for the rest of the year.
Most of those resolutions sound like "I want to lose 15 pounds." That's an arbitrary number that sounds good. Without a reason behind it, it's easy to quit, because quitting doesn't seem to cost you anything. You have the knowledge, but your purpose isn't strong enough to make you follow through.
When I teach, I try never to tell someone what to do without explaining why. When you understand the why, it's easier to tell when you're off track, and your decisions get simpler.
The student I mentioned has a 13-year-old son. I asked him, "You realize our kids see everything we do, good and bad?"
He agreed. So I put it to him plainly. Right now, his son is watching a dad who doesn't follow through on what he says. When things get uncomfortable, he takes the easy route. He makes the emotional decision, avoiding discomfort, instead of the logical and inconvenient one.
At 13, his son is moving from boyhood into manhood, and he's looking for an example of what a man is. Is that going to be his dad or someone else? Will his dad show him what to become, or what to avoid?
Something as simple as training can teach his son discipline, accountability and grit. But if he wants his son to be strong, motivated and able to follow through, he has to show him what that looks like first.
Once he saw it that way, the gym wasn't about a number on a scale anymore. It was about leading his family. That gave his decisions real weight, and he started training again.
Purpose is the backbone. Once you have it, these five things will help you stay on track.
My student would walk into the gym and wander, doing whatever he felt like or whatever machine was open. With no plan, he based his workout on convenience and mood.
Plan your week ahead of time, the same way you'd meal prep. Decide which days are cardio and which are lifting. For each lift, set the exercises, a goal weight and a target number of reps. You might hit it or you might not, but the plan is in place no matter how you feel that day. That keeps your training based on logic and strategy, not emotion.
When I take on a challenge or set a goal, I say it out loud so people hear it. Then they ask, "Did you do that thing you said you'd do?" And I have to look them in the face and answer.
If my student tells his son he's running three miles today, and his son later asks, "Dad, did you run? It was raining," he gets to say, "Yeah, I ran. Rain's not going to stop me." Sometimes the weather is great, and sometimes it's hot, cold or raining. That's what grit is: doing the hard thing anyway.
If the plan only lives in your head, you're the only one who knows when you quit. Say it out loud and you add another layer of accountability.
Some of us can motivate ourselves. Some of us need help from outside. Training with his son is great for leadership and for setting the example, so I recommended it. But if you're always the best in the room, you never grow. A grown man training only with a 13-year-old can take it easy without anyone noticing.
Find someone who will push you, challenge you and keep you honest, and do the same for them. A little competition, a spotter, and someone counting on you to show up all make a difference.
Set aside time in your day to invest in yourself, and protect it like any other priority. Don't treat it as "if I get around to it."
If motivation is the problem, set things up so you're forced into motion. I put my alarm clock across the room so I have to get out of bed to turn it off, and once I'm up, I'm up. If you train after work, stop at the gym before you walk in the door and get hit with everything waiting at home. If late at night is all you have, use it. The time depends on your schedule. What matters is that it's on the schedule.
Even if you've trained for years, a good trainer gives you structured workouts, coaching and accountability. If you're newer, they'll teach you and make sure you're doing it right.
When you set it up, tell your trainer: "If I flake and don't show up, charge me. No refunds. Don't let me slide." Make missing a session cost you something, whether that's money, pride or letting someone down.
All five of these work better when they're attached to a clear purpose. Figure out the need behind your training and put it into words, so you have a real reason for walking into the gym and you keep going past the first two or three weeks. Don't sprint and burn out.
I'm talking about fitness here, but this works for any part of your life where you're stuck. Find your purpose, and then go after your goals.
Purpose, goal setting and health and fitness each get a full treatment in my new book, The Full Spectrum Warrior Lifestyle. It's an introspective guide to building balanced, long-term success across every part of your life.
It isn't a book you read once and put on the shelf. It's a framework you hold yourself up against, so you can see where you're strong and where you're coasting.
Pre-launch copies are signed. Every copy ordered during the pre-launch is signed by me, and when the pre-launch window closes, signed copies close with it. You can get the signed hardcover on its own or in a bundle with the custom FSW® leather Bible, challenge coin and t-shirt.
Reserve your signed copy at FSWLifestyle.com →
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